If you're a vegetarian for ethical reasons, you probably shouldn't watch the video below; we're unlikely to be friends anymore after you do.

Eating a live octopus is a lesson in how you process theory versus reality. Even knowing in advance what I had come to do in the little seaside restaurant in Gangjin, Korea, I was somehow still surprised by what my friend unceremoniously dumped into my bowl: a fair-sized cephalopod in perfectly rude health,  as aware of my presence as I was of his, and totally uninterested in going quietly into the good night of my mouth.

I've never had a more difficult meal in my life. The thing was strong; its suckers glued themselves on contact to my chopsticks, fingers, and set of pincers - suckers which, I was seriously informed, might also cling to the sides of my throat and choke me to death if I didn't chew them enough. It was also relatively fast. Relative to what? ... Uh, well, definitely other meals I've had.

My American squeamishness didn't help in the struggle, either. I made quite the hash of things, allowing the octopus at one point (as you'll see in the video) to successfully work onto the underside of my bowl, forcing me to flip it over to continue eating it. I was very much the entertainment of the evening for all assembled.

But hey, I did it, OK? I ate the thing, all of it: stared right into the eye of that sucker, received the most reproachful look of my life, and then ate that eye. Was I grossed out? Likely I might have been, if I'd allowed myself for a moment think along those lines, but I knew that way lay madness ere I sat down.

More importantly, how was it? Truth to tell, it was fine. I like the tentacles more than the head. It goes well with sesame seed oil. I'll probably eat it at least one more time while I'm here, if for no other reason than I promised the restaurant owner I would.

Not any time soon, though. Next on my list is dog.

My own opinion is enough for me, and I claim the right to have it defended against any consensus, any majority, anywhere, any place, any time. And anyone who disagrees with this can pick a number, get in line and kiss my ass."

 — Christopher Hitchens

"Nawleans. They ain't another town like it. It's the wickedest city in the whole blame country and I seen em all. But it sorta gits under your skin somehow. Once yez have tied up along Tchoupitoulas Road yez will always come back. That yez will."

-   From THE FOXES OF HARROW, by Frank Yerby

"All nationalists have the power of not seeing resemblances between similar sets of facts. A British Tory will defend self-determination in Europe and oppose it in India with no feeling of inconsistency. Actions are held to be good or bad, not on their own merits, but according to who does them, and there is almost no kind of outrage — torture, the use of hostages, forced labour, mass deportations, imprisonment without trial, forgery, assassination, the bombing of civilians — which does not change its moral colour when it is committed by 'our' side. The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them."

-- George Orwell, Notes on Nationalism

Taking my Krav Maga Level 2 test on Saturday.

It's only the first test they put you through, so I'm not particularly worried. I've been looking around the 'net and here's what Mark from the United States Krav Maga blog just says, "My very first level 1 test in Krav Maga was an eye opener. I had taken many, many belt tests in martial arts, was a 4th degree black belt in taekwondo, and I can tell you that the basic level 1 krav test was the hardest test I had ever seen! Krav takes testing serious!!"

...

Ah.

The amount of time it takes for the entire class to test tends to be 4-9 hours, depending on the instructor, class size, etc., and the first two hours of that is just full-speed exercise to wear you out, so take into consideration that all of the guys above have been moving for at least three straight hours and possibly double that.

On the advice of my instructor, I'll be bringing along two gallons of water and gatorade, some grapes, and four separate changes of clothes. What I won't be taking is a prayer, and not only because I'm an atheist. If we can just for a moment set aside any cult-like belief either of us possesses in the power of positive thinking to overcome all odds, I'm pretty sure I've seriously misjudged my readiness for this thing. Going three days a week to this stuff since February has left me with what I think is a fair command of the technique, but it hasn't been enough to transform me back into the physically fit person I was starting college. Knowing how to throw a good punch isn't going to win me any points if I'm too exhausted to do so.

Which of course is the idea. What attracted me to Krav Maga in the first place, beyond of course my well-noted Judeophilia, is its laser-focus on the job of beating the bejeezus out of people. No Krav Maga instructor is interested in teaching you dance choreography, only in whether you can defend yourself - and it's delusional to pretend the condition of your body has nothing to do with that. If I fail this test (and about half of the people who last took it did) because I don't exercise outside of class, it'll at least bring that particular point home.

Plus, I'll have lost $50 in testing fees down the drain. I'm not rich enough yet to where that won't suck.

OK: now back to positive thinking.

I CAN DO THIS!!! RRRRRAAAAARRRGHHH!!!

My wife's posting up a compilation of all our hostel-related tweets we've made during our year in New Orleans, along with some pictures of what we did while we had time off. Go see it on her blog.